Fellow campaign member "Big Honey" Walsh said he has "the body of an angel." But "Stonecold" Quinn Cowan has far more to offer than good looks. Before becoming an undecided sophomore in the School of Business, Cowan grew up on a farm where he helped grow crops and raise chickens – experiences which hardened him into the man that now stands at the helm of Insert. Even amid election season, Cowan remains at ease. He simply strives to emulate the strength and integrity of his two idols: "Stonecold" Steve Austin and Ronald Reagan.
Why did you decide to run for this position?
"One month, me and Pa were in town and I saw a poster of a man, one beautiful man. And I looked at my Pa and said, 'Pa, who's that?' And he patted my shoulder and said 'Son, that's Ronald Reagan.' And I looked at my Pa and said, 'I wanna be just like him.' Ever since then, I've been bound and determined."
If elected, what major issues do you plan to address?
Citing numerous UT text alerts, Cowan believes students deserve the ability to protect themselves from harm.
"Our campaign is in strong support of the allowance of students on campus to actively take advantage of their class three carry permits and freely wield combat assault weapons on campus and in class."
Should a man whistle or "cat call" at a woman, she should be permitted to retaliate.
"Under this policy, you will be able to whistle back with a high velocity round that will splatter his brain all over the place."
What aspects of past presidents' terms do you think went well and what could have been done better?
"I would consider our campaign the only campaign with the cajones to thrust ourselves, and I really mean "thrust" ourselves, balls deep into the sinister beaurocracy that is UT and bring it crashing down.
"We don't need to whore ourselves out for donations in order to be elected for these positions."
Why should you be elected as President?
"I care about each one of us as though they were my own brother or my own sister.
"We think that traditionally the university is accustomed to automaton candidates that are completely robotic in they way they speak to students ... and execute the position itself. Often times, those candidates are not relatable. We are all walk and less talk. And we plan to get things done."