"I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned." This is indeed one of my favorite Facebook statuses. I guess the question is: do you really think everyone has an ulterior motive for the things they say and do? I want to believe they don't. We are in a world now that just doesn't trust anymore. I don't know how many times I have been asked, "Why did you write that?" or "Why did you say that?" and my personal favorite is "Why did you do that?" The answer to all of those questions is: at the time of writing, saying and doing ... I believed in what I was writing, saying and doing, simple as that. I had no ulterior motive. Like many others though, I have, with good reason, questioned the motives of others.
I have tried to live my life with integrity, always striving to do the right thing. In turn, I believed that the people in my life were always doing the same. Unfortunately, I have had people in my life who have led me down the path of not trusting anyone.
We all want to believe we can trust those secrets to our best friend, but when these "friends" use information you have given them in confidence to their own advantage, you start to draw a very different conclusion on whether you can tell any friends anything. Family members are not excluded from this question. I have had plenty of family members who have left me shaking my head, wondering why they would betray my trust. There are really just some people in our lives that disappoint even the biggest optimists.
I have let the wounds heal, and ask, if I never trust anyone, what's left? To open up to someone means just that — opening wide enough that not only do you let in the good — but there is the possibility you'll let the bad in too. I think those are the chances we have to take because what is the alternative? The alternative is never having anyone to share the happy moments, the hear-wrenching moments or just the silly moments with. I believe sometimes we are so scared and closed off that no one can get in. This is not fair to you or the people who want to be part of your life.
I suppose I am like the rest of you — I don't want to get hurt or have my heart broken. But in the process of protecting ourselves we could be missing out on happiness and having our faith renewed in the fact that not everyone should have their motives questioned.
— Samantha Warchol is a sophomore in psychology. She can be reached at email@example.com.