Before you make like a tree and leaf along with your friends and forget all about casually reading the Beacon, continue comprehending this column for a lesson on becoming Freud.

I guarantee supplying you with fun "getting to know you quiz" skills will make your fall break more fruitful, despite the dying environment.

Sometimes, psychoanalysis tests sound scary, not in the good Halloween sense, but in a demonic uncovering of your soul way. It should be noted that psychoanalysis tests, although dubious in their execution, are nothing more than personality tests.

Psychoanalysis tests attempt to bring to the surface unconscious desires by asking a series of seemingly harmless, simple questions. Some common tenets of psychoanalysis assume: childhood experiences impact personality, irrational drives influence actions and these irrational drives are unconscious.

Defense mechanisms deeply rooted in our subconscious block any attempt to interpret these irrational drives. The conscience wages constant conflict against the subconscious. To be liberated from these wars requires the cunning techniques of psychoanalysis, which attempts to surface, evaluate and reform unconscious material.

While these techniques can take years to learn and master, there are also simpler tests that anyone can implement. You can easily administer this easy three-question psychoanalysis to your friends and family over the upcoming recess.

The first question: "What is your favorite color and why?" The "why" in these questions is most important. I would suggest asking for a minimum of five adjectives or phrases from your friend. For example, when someone administered this test to me I said my favorite color was purple because it is vibrant, in accordance with the crown chakra, deep, tranquil and the blanket of the cosmos (whatever that means).

The second question is: "What is your favorite animal and why?" I chose two animals because I could not decide, which is acceptable and also up to interpretation later. I chose the lion and dolphin. I like that lions are regal, majestic and heavenly, and dolphins represent good nature, optimism and happiness to me.

The third and final question asks: "What is your favorite geographical element?" Because this question is slightly confusing, I usually give a few examples such as a field of flowers, mountains, rain or river, just so they understand the question without giving them too many examples. I chose waves because they are belittling, vast, mesmerizing, infinite and powerful.

To administer this test, I usually ask the questions and write down my answers given, but you can distribute the test in many ways. When I tested my whole family, they wrote their answers separately. Then I explained the questions' double meaning after they said their answers out loud.

After directing this test quite a few times, I have a few suggestions for all aspiring Freudians. People find it difficult to come up with multiple adjectives and will use the phrases "I just like it," or "Because it's pretty," but you must persuade them to "Get deeper with it," as I say. The left brain crowd – the engineer lot, the accountant fanatics – require more time to arrive at merely one or two reasons, but you must be patient and careful to not put words in their mouths.

Describing why you like a color or an animal will most likely result in your patient's agreement. Those are your ideas, and since it's a psychoanalysis test, you've learned nothing about your subject, only about yourself.

Spoiler alert: If you desire to take this test, you should answer the questions before reading their psychoanalytical double meaning. I would also like to mention that not all answers will be spot on; like all psychoanalytical tests, there is plenty of room for error.

The favorite color question describes how your patient views his or her own personality. The animal question reflects what that person seeks in a mate. Finally, the geographical region question represents how your subject views religion or God.

Get to know your new friends a little better over cider this fall break; give your family a few giggles when you hear Mom and Dad read off their perfect mate qualities. Spark up a fall break fling with these psychoanalysis-ice-breakers (disclaimer, that one might be too far).

Finally, if any of my readers answer the favorite color question with the words regal, majestic or optimistic, feel free to hit me up over fall break.

Julie Mrozinksi is a junior in English. She can be reached at jmrozins@utk.edu.