To make sure I'm not the only columnist in the country that doesn't somehow reference Halloween today, I've decided to talk about something terribly frightening.
Something horrible beyond imagine. Something I dare not think of, lest I be constantly awoken by terrifying nightmares.
It's a fear I can't ignore forever, though, so I'm just going to come out and confront it.
Rita the Librarian is charging toward first place on our panel.
There! I said it.
Rita the frikkin' Librarian.
It's not enough that I've had to play second fiddle to a physics expert from Denmark all year.
Now I'm having to fend off a card catalogue expert from Hodges.
And I'm scurred as hell.
So are the other panelists.
They're getting serious after watching Rita post the first undefeated week of the year.
The student body is sending in big-hitter Jon Salge.
In the world of aspiring football scouts, he's known simply as The Prodigy.
In football scouting circles, he's known simply as that guy who keeps sending us his work.
Either way, the kid is crazy.
Every year Salge produces NFL draft guides that push 200 pages. During the college football season, he'll study the players, take notes, tape games and occasionally venture outside.
It's pretty pathetic, really, Salge said.
Well, true.
But he has been contacted by a few pro football teams, and the Titans even invited him to their facility and had their scouts give him some tips.
The guy knows his stuff.
And so does Ivan Maisel, Bristol's answer to the suddenly red-hot librarian.
When it comes to college football, he's one of the true media heavyweights.
Maisel appears frequently on ESPNEWS, talks on ESPN Radio, contributes to ESPN's Sportscenter and College Gameday and is a senior writer for ESPN.com and ESPN the Magazine.
He also cleans the ESPN studio on his off-minutes.
The resumŽ doesn't stop there, though.
Maisel has covered college sports for the Dallas Morning News, Sports Illustrated, Newsday and The Sporting News, and has won national awards from the Associated Press Sports Editors and the Football Writers Association of America.
Oh yeah? Well, I was once named Sportswriter of the Month at the Daily Beacon.
So bring on Ivan. Bring on Soren and Salge and even the bookworm, Rita.
Bring em all on.
Halloween, smalloween.
I ain't scurred.

But I don't wanna lose to that librarian again ...
Duke at Tennessee: I won't try to get you fired up for this one. The Blue Devils are hideous. In the last four years, the best team they've beaten is East Carolina. Yes, that East Carolina. And the Dukies tore down the goal posts for that one. Good Lord. No wonder those people like their basketball.
Prediction: Take a guess, 38-13
Florida vs. Georgia: I suppose this current Gator hot streak has everyone thinking Ron Zook is a smart coach or something. Well, everyone needs to just calm down and take a deep breath. I have sources that say the man was once outcoached in one of his son's pee-wee football games. Even he won't be enough to end UGA's woes against Florida, though. Nobody could be that bad.
Prediction: Florida, 24-23
Oklahoma St. at Oklahoma: Did you see what Okie St. coach Les Miles said about this matchup earlier this week? "One team may be the best team in college football and the other is a damn good football team. We're going to play to see which is which." Um, I'll give you a hint, Les. You're the second one.
Prediction: OU, 44-24
Miami at Virginia Tech: After West Virginia shocked the Hokies last week, the school's students were pepper-sprayed while trying to tear down the goal posts. No word yet if it was the same spray used on the Hokies before the game.
Prediction: Miami, 27-21
Washington St. at USC: It's a really good offense against a really good defense and it should be a really good game. It's too bad it's in the Pac-10 and nobody cares. I mean, really, tell me you care.
Prediction: USC, 37-28
Michigan at Michigan St.: I'm getting sick of all this Maize and Blue. These guys have played in at least 18 big games this season and trail only the home-standing Vols in Pigskin Pick Em appearances. When told of this gross injustice, the ESPNers immediately demanded that we find more appearance for the Wolverines so they could pass Tennessee.
Prediction: Michigan, 27-24

Brett Edgerton is sports editor of the Daily Beacon and a senior in journalism. He can be reached at fromtheedge@utk.edu.