According to the police report (oh no, here I go again), McClure was in the Student Rec Center earlier this summer and asked a religious professor, "Hey pops, want to meet Jesus?"
According to the police report (okay, this has to stop), when officers arrived on the scene, McClure defiantly ran around the lobby and "began to take his shorts off."
The episode ended when the 310-pound athlete ran smack into a door at the police department.
Even though he was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance stemming from stress and anxiety, I have to admit that story was kind of fun.
But you probably want to read stories about football games instead of partial strip-shows by oversized players.
E-mail me if you have a time machine that will fast-forward my boring life to Sept. 5.

- Matt Giles is the sports editor of The Daily Beacon and a senior in journalism. He can be reached at