The Hall of Shame has a new king, and he goes by the name of Alexis Serna.
If you missed Serna's performance on Saturday night in Baton Rouge, you missed out on one of the most daunting tasks in the entire world of sports: completely undermining an entire team's outstanding performance by yourself.
Serna was able to play the role of the anti-hero by missing all three of his extra points in Oregon State's 22-21 loss to defending co-national champions LSU.
That's right, three extra point attempts and zero conversions in a one-point overtime loss.
So move over, Bill Buckner and Greg Norman. Step aside, John Starks, make room for the Great White Goat.
What really makes Serna's choke job stand out is the horrifying qualities that made for such an epic collapse:
o The rest of the unranked OSU squad played the best game of their lives - on the road in one of the most difficult venues in college sports.
o A 5-7, 157-pound kicker turned a routine, overlooked aspect of the game into a defining moment for the seasons of both teams.
o Serna single-handedly lost the game.
In fact, rumor has it that the Fontana, Calif., native has been taking the loss so hard that he tried to commit suicide before returning to Corvallis to face Beaver fans.
I really feel for the guy - apparently the bullet also went wide right.
But seriously folks, one missed extra point is plausible, but not necessarily acceptable. Two missed extra points spells big trouble and perhaps indicates underlying mental issues, but three ... well, how does that happen?
"It came off my foot wrong," Serna offered as an explanation to a television reporter before being pulled away by a teammate.
Is that all? Which kick came off wrong? You're a scholarship kicker, aren't you?
You can't knock one chip shot through the uprights?
Surely I'm not the only person who feels as confused as Jessica Simpson at a MENSA meeting by all this.
"I figure if all you do is kick, if you've got all that free time and you're not out there in the heat practicing three or four hours, then you need to make the kicks," OSU defensive end Sir Henry Anderson told the Associated Press. "I feel no sympathy for kickers. I don't think they should miss.
"I don't know what was going on, I just know he kept hitting the pole (right goalpost). After that first one, I said, 'What's going on?' I knew that was going to come back and hurt us."
The extra point is the football equivalent of a free throw, only easier. Defenses concede extra points like they were 18-inch putts, and they are tried from a distance that is hardly any longer than that.
No offense ladies, but extra points are so basic that even a girl could do it ... even an "awful" one.
Which, believe it or not, has actually already happened.
New Mexico kicker Katie Hnida - whose skills were mocked by her former coach, Colorado's Gary Barnett, as "terrible" - became the first woman to score in Division I-A football last season with two extra points in a 72-8 win over Texas State-San Marcos.
Hnida is currently 2-for-3 kicking extra points in her career.
Rest assured that OSU coach Mike Riley would gladly settle for that level of production after Serna's shenanigans, and he might be wondering just how many kicks a "talented" female could convert.
Three extra misses, three misses.
All hail the new king. His reign is sure to be a lonely one.
- Austin Ward is a junior in journalism at The University of Tennessee. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wide Right OSUs Serna kicks his way into infamy
Published: Thu Sep 09, 2004 | Modified: Sat Aug 06, 2005 06:20 p.m.