Throughout the year, I have found myself at the bottom of the Pick 'Em's chart.
This makes no sense.
I actively follow every sport, I'm as athletic as they come and I keep up with the stats for all of the teams.
Oh, wait. That's false.
The actual blame of my cute little mugshot living in the "Dead Stinkin' Last Place" box lies in the hands of our wonderful Managing Editor Melodi Erdogan, who volunteered me for this year's Pick 'Em's.
This was completely fine with me, as I thought my fate would be one above Melodi's. She was what would keep me from last place, since I know she has little to no knowledge of college football. However, as she holds her fourth place spot, it is clear that her picks are a little more strategic than choosing the cutest uniformed team. She does, after all, call herself a Fashionista.
Atta girl, Mel.
David Cobb, however, has surprised me in a not-so-cute-fashionista way. He's the sports editor and only one spot above me. This is unacceptable. This week doesn't look much better for Mr. Big D.
His picks only differ from mine slightly, with him choosing Wisconsin above Northwestern. Northwestern is ranked. Wisconsin is not. Lawyered.
Hopefully this sports editor can prove his worth somehow, because as you can see, Pick 'Ems are not his forte.
The Missouri-Georgia game looks like a no-brainer. I hear Georgia won last weekend. Ergo, I chose Georgia. Troy Provost-Heron, our assistant sports editor, apparently didn't get the memo and chose Missouri.
Troy tries, and it looks like luck has been on his side, putting him in the number two spot. This is good for the sports section's reputation, but don't expect little Troy to move up in the Pick 'Em's anytime soon. He'll eventually fall short of picks, which doesn't help his case, since he stands at 5-foot-5-inches tall.
If he doesn't start paying attention to the life that is sports, the Associate Dean of Students Ken Gassiot, our special guest picker this season, may pass him.
Ken's picks are exactly the same as mine this week. This is either really good news for me or bad news for Ken, since I chose Eastern Carolina solely based on the fact that I have no clue what or who Tulane is. Maybe a town beside Duloc in Shrek?
And now I'm forced to address the gentleman with the leading spot, our devilishly handsome Copy Chief, Gage Arnold. His picks this week are average. He sided with Troy and chose Missouri.
Again, I say: Lawyered.
Gage is the only person to choose Florida over LSU. This was a bold choice, but it's pretty evident that LSU will come out on top. C'mon Gage Sauce, it's general knowledge.
My view from the very Bikini Bottom has been enjoyable. I've given others confidence in their little strategies and secret keeping, but this week you're gonna hear me roar.
Cortney Roark is a junior in journalism and electronic media. She has only been to two games at Neyland Stadium, but she knows all the words to "Rocky Top." She can be reached a firstname.lastname@example.org.